Letting out some steam, spilling my guts, even though I should go outside for this…

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This is probably the longest post title I will ever allow myself to publish, but I don’t really care much about what the title of this entry is. As the title says, I’m here to spill my guts on the “yoosh” (usual).

WORK! Of course, it isn’t work if we’re not putting out fires and listening to our clients freak out over nothing. But why am I complaining about work on a Sunday?

For one, it’s Sunday. So that means tomorrow’s Monday, the start of another week at work. Oh joy.

Two, and I shouldn’t have done this while at home, but I had to grab something that I sent to myself from our company’s instant messaging system, Slack, and I just happened to open up a channel we have that notifies us of any feedback from our clients. And the feedback that came up was from one of my clients that basically said, not terrible things, but things that did put a damper on my mood, but it can be considered constructive feedback. HOWEVER, the things that the client was expecting of me, the one thing that I will spit out specifics… it’s not in my job description to provide web marketing advice. I didn’t go to school for marketing, I went to school to build websites, studying and practicing code. It just so happens that the only job available to me was this project manager/coordinator role. But I’m going off on a tangent here.

Essentially, from reading her feedback, it makes me want to scream. I want to go outside, somewhere like an empty field, where there’s noone around, and scream until I lose my voice. But it’s so windy (and cold) outside, and I really don’t feel like being blown away today. That wind is seriously strong.

Because I have to put up with all of this at my job, it makes me wonder – actually, I’ve been thinking about this since I first started experiencing this frustration 2 years ago – if there are other opportunities that are FOR ME out there. I’m not exactly looking for other jobs out there, but I might as well just put it out there (I’ve been trying to keep this a secret)… that I’m planning on joining the military as an officer. Because to me, it’s either suffer at this current job or any others like it, or join the military.

I think I’ve mentioned this before, but I am not happy with my job. I may have lied a bit to my supervisor when we had a 1-on-1 sesh, and he asked “do I like my job (as a project success adviser)?” I responded saying that it’s basically all I know right now. But we all know that means that it’s what I’m stuck with. That’s honestly what I wanted to say, but at the time, I really wanted to improve. I always want to improve in my current position, but it’s tiring.

I want to try something new.

A few hours ago, I was doing some reading on the expectations and requirements to become an officer in the military. And honestly, this was the first time in a while that I felt excited and scared at the time over something. Although, I still have to see if I’m qualified, I really want to make this a reality for me.

Most things are at a standstill for me. My job consists of the same routine every single day, although interesting events occur every other day, it’s not the fun and exciting kind. They’re more of the dreadful, “shake my head” kind of events. Living with my parents for the past 27 years is cool, but I just really need to leave. My close friends are leaving me, and I’m in no real state to make new friends. The friends that I still have here all do their own thing. So there really isn’t anything left for me where I’m currently at.

So I really hope the military is my ticket out of here before the end of this year. I emailed my recruiter, so I’m hoping to get this off the ground soon.

As I’m just finishing up this post, I just realized that the music player not only plays on my website, bu it also plays in the dashboard when I’m typing up a new post. Way to present a dramatic feel with background music as I am typing all of this up… thanks, Day6, for always getting me in my feels.

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